You are killing your Relationship.

dead-relationship

It’s very apparent who’s relationship will last, and who’s won’t. A lot of time people get into relationships because they think it will make them happier, it won’t. The biggest killer of relationships is an insecure person. Whatever your insecurities may be, you need to get past them. You won’t be able to move forward with any relationship if you don’t get over your own issues.
A lot of people complain about how they have been hurt before so that’s why they have insecurities. That may be the case but you allow people to hurt you. No one can make you feel anything or do anything without your permission. Once you give someone the power to affect your emotions and behaviors they will forever have a hold on you. You may think that you are over the person but in fact you’re not. The simple fact that whatever they did to you is still affecting your future proves that you never got over it. It’s important to forgive and move on. If you don’t you’ll forever be under someone else’s control. Forgiveness is key.
There many ways that your insecurities are ruining your relationships and your life. One major way is that you’re always paranoid. It doesn’t matter what the person does, you will always expect the worst of them. Since you’re expecting nothing good of a person you buy into a thing called a self-fulfilling prophecy. Since you expect bad you get bad. Unless the person has done you wrong before you have no reason to be paranoid.
Another way is trust. If there’s no trust, you shouldn’t have a relationship in the first place. Once you’ve established that there’s no trust then you become even more paranoid. It becomes an awkward feeling all the time. In order to establish trust, take it slow and be honest. Try to build on things slowly so that bond will grow stronger.
Another way is communication, if you can’t communicate, what do you do? It’s important that you know how to properly conduct yourself for any given situation. If you’re the type to always start yelling, don’t listen, or walk away then you have some serious communication issues. When there’s a problem you need to talk it out. Also if you’re a hot head, you know it and it’s up to you to say so. Take a breather so you don’t blow things out of proportion.
Lastly your insecurities bring out jealously. And not the simple they were checking out another person type. The type where it doesn’t matter who they talk to, you have a problem with. They could be talking to a family member or a friend from the past and you assume there’s more because they didn’t explain the extent of their relationship. Or even after they tell you who the person is to them you still are upset. Life doesn’t work that way. You can’t have a person all to yourself all the time. its normal for someone to have friends and to want to hang out with their friends. It’s also normal for someone to want family time. There’s no reason for you to be jealous. One way to get over that, have your own friends, and hang with your out family. Spending time apart is healthy for any relationship. It’s good to have your self-identity intact.

 

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8 thoughts on “You are killing your Relationship.

  1. Would you agree that trust and communication are two of the most important aspects to a successful relationship?

    It’s difficult to see those that have been scarred by love, as that person will become less and less willing to give relationships a chance, though the path to happiness is overstepping those worries and taking a risk. It truly is a catch 22, but a heart won’t mend from pulling away. A heart can only mend if it’s given to someone that will nurse it back to health.

    Looking forward to reading more!

    1. Glad you liked it! and I agree, trust and communication are a must. Without them, the relationship won’t last. And it is hard to get back out there when you’ve been hurt, but it suck that since someone hurt you, you hold it over everyone there after.

      1. I agree with you. It’s a tricky situation. When the wound is so raw, it’s tough to open up again, which is incredibly unfortunate, but semi-understandable.

        A couple of years ago, a relationship of mine ended because my ex cheated on me. Now, I wasn’t going to let her own actions harm my happiness, that’s for sure! But I was wary of my next relationship for a little bit, until I was able to fully trust and dedicate myself to my partner. At the moment, I’m very secure and happy, but it wasn’t easy!

      2. I’m glad you were able to move on, some people can’t and that’s what sucks. especially when its something so serious, but its good to let go. I can personally say that if my boyfriend kept his hurt feelings from his ex and constantly questioned, accused of cheating, that we wouldn’t be happy. I would be hurt because he wouldn’t have really got to know me as a person, or even try to trust me.

      3. I read an interesting quote at one point that was: “Don’t ever ask if a person is telling the truth. An honest person will get offended, and a liar will keep on lying.” It’s an interesting idea to think about, especially in a relationship setting. But, some issues do need to be taken head-on!

        I’m glad to hear your boyfriend was able to move on, as well 🙂

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